I only just recently reached the end of the first half of my United Kingdom/Switzerland exchange trip with the International 4-H Youth Exchange (IFYE). Having now spent approximately 85 days as an International Traveler, I imagine I can draw some fairly unbiased conclusions about the people of the United Kingdom. As such, here is my telling of events.
I think it is first and foremost important to recognize that the vast majority of the United Kingdom are, and remain, a very social people. Though the breadth and width of jobs, activities, living space and personality types vary widely, the highly-developed social climate of the UK is perhaps one of the most underrepresented characteristics that exist.
Be gone the Western Stereotyping of Brits as stuck-up, snobbish, stand-offish types. Though they exist, (don’t they exist everywhere? I mean really) and though the attitude of a Brit might lean more towards the sarcastic and reserved, there is really no limit to what they will discuss with you, intimately, socially, personally, once you’ve been accepted as ‘one-of-the-squad.’ I cannot tell you how many personal, by all accounts very intense conversations I’ve had with people that I’d met just days, and in some cases, hours, before. Accompanying these social engagements is always a cuppa, sometimes topped off two or three times before a conversation ends. Tea drinking is uniquely British; and this social lubricant provides an intrinsic sense of warmth, acceptance and comfort to each and all that participate.
Though social interactions occur on a daily basis, and are usually just social for the sake of being social, rural communication is especially important as it is a means to transmit information that could affect all. I remember one instance in which I was being collected from a train station by a new host. After she’d lifted me, a call came in from one of her friends. (That’s another thing about Brits. They love hands-free cell usage in cars. Well done.) After exchanging the necessary pleasantries, her friend explained that he’d had a get-together planned for her and “Your American friend, who I heard is mad about horses. So we can visit the stables after if that’s alright?” yes, of course it was alright. I don’t know how he’d heard, who he’d heard it from, when he’d heard it, but he’d heard it well and translated it into something social as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And for them, it is.
Weather, road closures, who’s dating who, who was looking at tractors, who’s combining, when, and how, who was on maternity leave, who was just back from maternity leave, who’d put on weight, who they’d seen at the shop, what they’d done for holiday, who was driving down the road, at what time, on which tractor, who fell off a horse, whose horse was in the vet, whose car was in the shop, how long it’d been there, the state of the roads, the state of the hedges on the side of the roads, who’d trapped a badger, who’d bred a dog, who was driving the other way down the road…on and on and on, until everyone was caught up on everything. This sense of public knowledge, a vat of information upon which everyone can act was a new experience for me. What I first interpreted as being nosey was actually a very common, very useful, and ultimately very social way to include everyone into a community. Coming from a Nation that values privacy almost more than safety, it was fascinating to see how quickly information spread from one place to another. It also came as a shock and a relief to see that this information was rarely, if ever, used maliciously. It seems that with less privacy comes a sense of acceptance, and with that acceptance, a need to spread information that is of value to everyone. Being labeled a “gossip” in this community wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but being labeled a gossip that spreads lies or rumors is someone upon which all cast a very critical eye.
The close-knit nature of these communities stems largely from geographical characteristics. It wasn’t uncommon to meet families who had lived on their farm for generations, and could often pinpoint a very long stretch of relatives that lived in the area, or very near the area. Background on these people isn’t hard to find, as it is some of the first information proffered over the customary cup of “getting-to-know-you” tea. Even the nature of their greetings represent their need to be social.
“Hiya, you alright?”
Translated: “Hi, how are you?”
Ask someone in the United states if they’re “alright” and they might look at you like you’re being far too upfront about something they’re doing wrong. I think it is the social aspect of the United Kingdom I have appreciated most in my time here. I have never been asked to speak so openly about myself in such a demanding way; and I realize now that I really rose to the occasion. Though it was difficult at times, I found that speaking truthfully and easily about what it is I do, where I’ve been and how I am is the surest way to be welcomed into the fold.
To all my United Kingdom Friends and Family, thank you for teaching me the value of people. Thank you for your cups of tea, your hugs, your kisses, and most of all, your love. I cannot express enough how much I appreciate your kindness and patience. You're incredible people, thank you so much! Keep in touch, all of you!
Xx
Jen